Motivation, Motivation…

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…where for art thou Motivation?  Oy, where do I begin.  Or should I say where has my motivation gone?  I was doing so well discovering myself, working out, eating decent.  I’m still fulfilling the first of those three but the latter two, I don’t know what happened.  Every day I get up with the intent on it being the day I get it together.  Then every night I say “tomorrow.”  With that said…TODAY will be the day.  For real.  Again. For real, for real.

Discovering myself:  Exciting news is coming on this front.  As soon as I am released to reveal it, you all will be the first to know.  Ooh, I can’t wait to share the good news!

Working out:  Since I’m not working I had to let go of my gym membership, for now.  And, given that it is hot as hades in Phoenix right now, outdoor workouts for this girl is out of the question.  Out of the question I say.  Thus, I need indoor, at home workouts that will be fun and keep my attention.  Suggestions please.  (I need a trainer, but since I can’t afford one, it’s just me and my rottie).  BTW, I still dream of running that 1/2 marathon one day.

Eating decent:  I say decent because I don’t think I have the desire to eat healthy all day every day.  That’s boring to me.  I’ve shifted in my eating whereby I rarely eat breakfast, not eating until lunch time or after.  I know I need to change that.  I do believe eating breakfast and lunch and a light dinner was the right combo for me.  Again, I’m back on it.

Breast Cancer Awareness month is coming up!  Show some love by signing up for a walk, hold a fundraiser to donate to finding a cure or volunteer to help a survivor or caretaker in need.  No deed is ever to small.  I will always be grateful for those that took care of me: family, friends, co-workers, pastors, medical staff and strangers.

I just found my motivation.  If I don’t do it for me, I at least need to do it for those who cared enough to make me comfortable and not want to see me suffer nor leave this earth.  Thank you Holy Spirit for pouring that into me!

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Total Transformation

Hello World!

I’ve been quiet to say the least. My last blog was on 12/31/14 where one of my resolutions was to blog once every two weeks. Well…that didn’t happen…yet. I can, and will, do it for the last half of this year. Let me correct myself. I can do it for the first half of the new transformation in my life part of the year (if that makes sense, LOL, it does to me).

Where do I begin. I started the year off in good physical shape. But not so much in other areas of my life. I was working a job I despised and my kid was testing me beyond the limits. In the past six months I’ve laughed, cried, celebrated, worried, panicked, lost my job, loved and UGH…gained weight back…ARGH! But not all of it. 😉 With all of this, I have learned that your emotional and spiritual shape is just as important as the physical. They all feed off one another.

So, I was left my job back in March. I was down right miserable. Why was I miserable? Well, I was waiting on God to provide that answer. And yesterday, I finally got it. I needed to rest! I needed to emotionally rest.

Ever since my battle with cancer in 2011 I have not emotionally rested. I worked while going through chemo treatments, worked while receiving radiation, worked through my surgeries. I came down with pneumonia and had to return to work before I was totally healed. Returned to work well before I should have after my hysterectomy last year. Work…work…work… I worked two jobs for the first 10 years of my son’s life (three at one point). I don’t stop. It was time for me to STOP! Why, because I need to be prepared for this next journey. And it all comes together. My spiritual well-being dictates my emotional well-being which dictates my physical well-being. This may not be news to most, but for me, I finally get it.

Now that I’m rested, today, God began to reveal it to me. Thank you Lord!

What a year it has been…

…and what transformation has occurred. We always start the year off full of promises and resolutions; full of hopes and dreams; full of commitments and commands over our lives. When you look back over the year did you stay on the path you thought you were destined for? Did you stick to those promises? Simply, did things work out like you wanted them to?

Well, as I look back over this past year, I can certainly say some things happened, not necessarily as planned. Although I had a health challenge and scare, I am healthy today! Praise the Lord! I lost over 30 lbs. Now, every year I resolve to lose weight and workout. I didn’t lose the weight because I was trying to but, nonetheless, I lost it, I’m happy, I’m in regular sized clothes and say what you want…I’m loving me! Now if I only can stick to that plan to lose 40 more lbs….

I’ve had some epiphanies over the past year regarding my career and relationships. I’ve lost loved ones and had to say goodbye to some friendships; yet, hello and welcome to new companions. I’ve decided to work in my passion and not according to what “pays the bills” although the latter is extremely important. Yes, I recognize the dangling carrot.

Most of all, I stopped to listen to the Holy Spirit. I strengthened my relationship with God. I began moving with purpose, His purpose. And to that I say, look out world…

Bring on 2015! Happy New Year!

P.S. I promise to blog more in 2015. I’m striving for every 2 weeks…yeah I couldn’t help myself with a resolution. HA!😌

He clicked “save”

Follow my Pastor and his 5 minute Monday devotionals.

WORD WHISPERER

Yesterday after church two mothers approached me and asked for prayer.  The first requested prayer for an adolescent daughter; the other asked prayer for an adult grandson.  Today, during my prayer and meditation time, I prayed for them.  I also entered them on my prayer list not only to document the occasion, but also, to set before me an ongoing reminder to ask petition on their behalf.  As I clicked the “save” button to keep the document containing their names along with all the others, it dawned on me that this is what God has done on my behalf.

Years ago, I sought his Son Jesus and asked him to help me, to forgive me, and save me.  Upon hearing my request, he entered my name in the Lamb’s Book of Life along with all the other names.  He did this not only to document the occasion, but also, to…

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On the road again…

…to good health. I’d first like to thank everyone for the prayers and well wishes. I had surgery a month ago, a hysterectomy. I was having symptoms associated with uterine cancer. Praise The Lord all biopsies and pathology reports post surgery came back negative. The surgery alleviates that from ever happening. To God I give all the glory!

The silver lining in all this, and I always believe a positive can come from a negative, is weight loss. I have lost about 12 lbs in the last month. Since March, I’m down 25lbs and counting. Woooo, you all just don’t know! I’ve been trying to break that 200 lb mark for years and I finally did it…8 lbs ago. I have at least 40 more to go (WE can do this 😉). One small step for man; one giant leap for mankind. This quote was just on my mind. Don’t ask why; just seems to fit.

As soon as I can I’m working out. Funny how you crave to work out when you can’t. I know the struggle will be on as soon as I get clearance. I’ll be back to every excuse in the book and donating my gym fee every month. I won’t claim it….I guess.

Just when you think you’re on a roll…

…you either fall or jump off the wagon. Yes you can succeed but that doesn’t fit my story right now. Eventually. I’m a continuous work in progress. I start a workout plan, stop, start, slow down, go all in, and come to a screeching halt! They say mind over matter. Well, my mind has been in the game for a while; my body just hasn’t caught up. I’ve been thinking I might be interested in marathon training again. But, I never had my knee evaluated for that possible meniscus tear so I’m afraid if I start that will flare up. Yes, I should go to the doctor but I have other pressing health issues.

One thing about being a cancer survivor is knowing, in the back of your mind, that it can resurface and not in the same area. Having said that, I have a biopsy scheduled for Wednesday to rule out endometrial/uterine cancer. There is a slim to no chance of my breast cancer coming out of remission since I had a double mastectomy. But, that slim chance of endometrial cancer surfacing is possible due to the oral cancer med I take. As a dear friend put it “You mean the breast cancer drugs can cause [bleep] cancer?!” Yes, he literally asked it just like that! I won’t mention any names Andres…LOL!!! And yes, I told him. I have a few symptoms but only the biopsy will rule it out for sure. I say rule out because although I am a realist, I don’t claim the negative! More to come when the results are in.

As for my workouts, I’m back in the gym today. My bag is in my car. Funny thing is I’ve been losing weight without the workouts. HA! Go figure. When I’m not consciously trying it happens. I’ve been getting into dresses I haven’t worn for years. And, I was sharing with a friend last night that I can once again comfortably wear heels. Stilettos! Don’t let me start toning up….it’s on! For now, I’m hopping back on my wagon, one workout at a time. Yippee Ki yay!!

My body is a temple…

…and it’s high time I started treating it like it is. I say that to myself just about every week, even this morning as I turned into Wendy’s, mouth salivating for a biscuit and gravy. (Smack, smack and it sure was tasty!) So was that mango, pineapple smoothie I had to compliment it. Ugh, I’m killing myself with the lack of self-control. Or is it not self-control I’m lacking? Is it more a lack of desire? Fear that I’ll be missing out? The will to put in the time to eat right? It’s probably a little of all of those questions plus more. I’m not going to get deep with this. I know what I need to do, what I need to eat, how often I need to exercise, and so on, and so on and so on. My problem is doing it! So I got to thinking, what would make me follow a plan just a little bit more. What draws me to commit and see that commitment through? The desire to please God. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 NIV reads as follows: Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. Now, if you read the preceding verses you will know a certain immorality is being discussed. I’m not going there and don’t judge me! One thing at a time and that’s between my sins and God! LBVS!!! But when I commit to the Lord, I do better. So, after I finish this leftover Chinese food for lunch, and cookies, and maybe a few more pieces of residual Easter candy, I will be treating my body as the temple it is. With regard to eating that is…like I said…baby steps. 😉

Better and Stronger…

…that’s my motto for 2014! In my last post I said “no more excuses.” Well, I’ve had plenty since then. Most excuses just lead back to sheer laziness and procrastination. But in late December my knee gave out on me. It’s thought to be my meniscus, either a tear or it’s worn. I vote for the latter. That injury, for lack of a better word because I just woke up one day and couldn’t walk, sidelined my workouts. And, I’m tired of looking down and seeing my stomach stick out further than my NEW breasts!!! I CANNOT have that. It IS NOT sexy by any means. HaHa

Yesterday, I recommitted myself…YET AGAIN. This time I’m serious. I need to ween myself off some meds and the only way to do that is through healthier eating and regular exercise. The only med I should be on is my cancer med and that’s for only 3 more years.

My inspiration? Beyoncé’s Drunken Love video. Yep, I said it. I’m envious. And will get there, or at least close to it, with my old behind! LOL!!!!

No More Excuses…

…really…I have no more excuses! I went to my follow-up appointment with my plastic surgeon today and all restrictions were lifted. I was overjoyed but then realized I no longer have a crutch to prevent me from working out.

With that being said, I joined a gym yesterday (yeah me)!! The Salvation Army in PHX has a state of the art facility, fitness equipment, classes, pool with a lazy river (even though I can’t swim a lick – but I’m a champion floater 😃), boxing gym, indoor track and so on. So tonight, I will be in the gym. I’m also working my free yoga classes in my schedule.

Now, I just need to get my knees and back to cooperate and I’m good to go. OK family, friends and followers, hold me accountable. In the words of one of my favorite movies…”I’m going to be a lean, mean fighting machine!” Who knows what movie that line is from?

Block, I’ll see you in the 1/2 marathon next year!